Holidays are exciting for kids, but a recent divorce can make the season more difficult for children and parents. Parents have additional stressors to deal with, including new custody arrangements and, often, new financial and emotional strain. Navigating the holidays requires a clear parenting plan to mitigate the stress and help parents and kids have a smoother holiday season. A Topeka child custody attorney can help parents negotiate and plan for the holidays.
Even if you have a clear plan and are on good terms with your ex-spouse, the holidays can be less than joyful after such a significant change. It’s important that parents know what they can do to ease their own stress and make the holidays better for their kids. Some things you can do include:
1.Put Your Children’s Needs First
Always focus on your kids. Whether you are spending the holidays with or without them, be aware of what you can do to support them and their relationship with your co-parent. This can also include helping your children pick out gifts for your co-parent.
The holidays may be very different for your children, and it can be hard for them. Even though things have changed, try to make the holidays fun. Keep your kids out of any disagreements with your co-parent, and help them enjoy the traditions they get to keep.
2.Take Care of Yourself
Be sure to consider your own mental and emotional well-being during the holiday season. You might not be as excited by the season as you usually are, and it’s important not to discount those feelings. Whether you need to take time for yourself when you can, or you need to keep busy, do what makes you happy. Rely on your support system and spend time with those you love.
3.Set Up New Traditions
While maintaining certain traditions can be helpful, it is also useful to create new traditions. The holidays change after a divorce, and it’s important to acknowledge the changes. Creating new traditions may also be necessary depending on when you are able to spend time with your kids for the holidays. Families can also work together to plan new and fun traditions.
4.Plan Ahead
Planning ahead is essential, including planning travel, budgets, gifts, family time, and many other logistics. Most of this information should be determined ahead of time in a parenting plan. If your parenting plan isn’t specific enough for the holidays, you and your co-parent may need to agree on certain resolutions. Determining this ahead of time can help limit disagreements.
5.Coordinate and Communicate With Your Co-Parent
Communicating with your ex-spouse is essential during the holiday period. There’s a lot going on during the holidays, especially with a new custody arrangement. It’s important to keep each other informed of concerns about the holidays, gifts for kids, expectations for travel, and plans for exchanging kids. Being on the same page can help limit conflict and make the holidays more enjoyable for everyone.
6.Be Open to Change
You should also be flexible during the holidays. Whenever possible, parents should adhere to the parenting plan; however, things can come up. When they do, parents should work together on a resolution that benefits their family. Don’t expect everything to go perfectly according to plan.
7.Make Expectations Clear With Your Kids
It can help to talk with your kids about the upcoming holidays. You may be able to alleviate some of their concerns by explaining what will and will not change during the season. Let them know that both their parents want to spend time with them, and are trying to make that happen. You may also want to ask them what they’re hoping the holidays will look like to determine if what they want can be integrated into your plans and new traditions.
FAQs
Q: Should Divorced Parents Celebrate Holidays Together?
A: Every family is unique, and divorced parents should determine whether they should celebrate holidays together based on their own preferences and their family’s circumstances. If parents can celebrate holidays without arguing or creating more stress for themselves and their children, it can be a great way to allow both parents to spend as much time with their kids as possible and give kids a fun holiday.
Spending the holidays together may not be ideal immediately after a separation. For younger kids, it can confuse them and make it harder for them to accept the separation.
Q: How Do You Split Holidays When Co-Parenting?
A: There are many ways to split or manage the holidays when co-parenting, and parents should consider their child’s age, the schedules and budget of each parent, and the family’s preferences. Some options for splitting the holidays include:
- Splitting each specific holiday in half
- Alternating holidays each year
- Setting fixed holidays for each parent
- Adding holidays to other days and celebrating twice
- Spending the holiday together
How you and your co-parent handle the holidays should be addressed in your parenting plan.
Q: How Can You Get Through the Holidays After a Divorce?
A: Getting through the holidays after a divorce may not be easy, and powering through or avoiding your negative feelings may not help. Allow yourself time, when possible, to deal with feelings of grief, loss, and loneliness. You may also want to keep yourself busy volunteering or going to events with friends and family.
Maintain a support network and be sure to take care of yourself. If you have children, stick to the parenting plan and try to make the holidays as fun as possible.
Q: How Can You Make Christmas Special for Kids After Divorce?
A: Some options for making Christmas and other holidays special for kids after divorce include:
- Creating new traditions to enjoy the season
- Maintaining a sense of normalcy as much as possible
- Ensuring that disagreements between you and your co-parent don’t affect your kids
- Asking your kids what their hopes are for the holidays
- Going somewhere fun
- Ensuring your kids get to spend time with their friends and family
- Communicating with your children so they know what to expect, including what will and won’t change
Contact Stange Law Firm in Topeka
It’s important to get the support you need during the holiday season. This may include friends, family, other loved ones, and professional support. If you need legal representation to facilitate discussions between you and your co-parent during holiday preparation, contact Stange Law Firm.
