Back-to-school season is fast approaching, and many parents who are newly separated or divorced may be concerned about this transition. Although there are certain benefits for parents to have kids busy with school during the workday, the change also brings many new stressors and the need for a clear and comprehensive routine. If you haven’t planned for this season in your parenting plan, a Topeka child custody attorney can help you address those specifics.
Even with a clear parenting plan arrangement, it can still be a turbulent time if you don’t plan ahead with your co-parent. Children have a lot of needs before and during the beginning of the school year, and parents can take steps to keep their stress over the season from affecting their kids.
Some tips for managing and planning for the back-to-school season include:
Understand Your Plan and Communicate
You and your co-parent have to first make sure that you agree on the specifics of your parenting plan. It’s crucial to plan ahead and discuss the beginning of the school year with your co-parent. This can ensure that you both understand the schedule listed in your parenting plan and the responsibilities you each have. Open communication between co-parents is crucial in a back-to-school setting, including sharing information about your kid’s needs and their teachers, healthcare concerns, and extracurriculars.
Communicate With the School
It’s important to communicate your child’s custody arrangement with their school, ensuring that the school knows that both parents have to be contacted separately when necessary. This information can help the school complete additional planning for your family, such as arranging your children’s transportation situation. You may also want to give the school additional emergency contacts beyond you and your co-parent.
Focus on Your Kid’s Needs
Back-to-school planning should always put your children’s interests first. Your planning should focus on your child’s educational and emotional success. Make sure your children know that they have the support of both their parents, and let them know that you are there to support them during this potentially stressful time.
Create a Shared Calendar
Coordinating schedules is one of the most helpful ways to plan for the school year. A shared calendar can help parents keep track of important events, holidays, meetings, and any changes to those dates. Parents can more clearly understand when and where they need to be available, and this can help avoid confusion and conflict.
Remain Respectful
Communicating with your co-parent is necessary, and so is being positive and respectful while talking with them. Although you may be frustrated or overwhelmed, it is important to remain calm. Stress and arguments can affect kids, whether they witness it or not. This strain can impact their emotional and academic well-being, lessening the excitement of going back to school. Realize that your co-parent is likely trying hard to provide for your child’s needs, and try to be flexible and understanding when things don’t go according to plan.
Plan for Shopping and Other Expenses
Back-to-school shopping can be expensive, and parents should plan on who is responsible for those costs or how they can split them. The school year can bring other expenses for sports, clubs, and other extracurriculars in addition to lunches, school projects, class trips, and school dances. Plan ahead for these costs and help your kid have a fun school experience.
Ensure Consistent Rules and Routines
Part of the transition to the school year is the shift in schedules and expectations for kids. Be sure that you and your co-parent agree on morning and afternoon routines as well as bedtimes, study times, and homework expectations.
Supporting Homework Needs
In addition to ensuring that both households have similar expectations for homework and studying, both parents should also be ready to support their kids in their education. Parents can help their kids stay organized, aid with transportation of any physical homework or required items for school, and be a source of support.
FAQs
Q: Should Co-Parents Spend Time Together?
A: Whether co-parents should spend time together depends entirely on their relationship, the age of their children, their unique familial situation, and how recent the divorce was. Spending time together as a family immediately after a divorce could be confusing for kids and make it harder for them to process the divorce. It can even be harder for parents to move forward with their lives.
However, parents who can get along and put their children’s interests above personal disagreements may be able to create fun memories while spending time as a family.
Q: How Do I Prepare for Back-to-School Season as a Co-Parent?
A:There are several things you can do to prepare for back-to-school season as a co-parent, including:
- Planning for back-to-school shopping and other school expenses
- Creating a calendar that coordinates the schedules of your children for both parents to access
- Holding your children’s interests as a priority
- Determining transportation schedules
- Setting guidelines and expectations for studying, homework, phone use, meal times, and bedtimes that are consistent between homes
- Planning for the travel and costs of extracurriculars
- Remaining flexible and respectful with your co-parent
Q: What Is the Ideal Age for Children for Their Parents to Split Up?
A: There is no ideal age that children should be for their parents to split up, as each child will have their own reaction to the situation, and breaking the news should always be handled carefully. Very young children may not remember the divorce, but they could be affected by the stress of the process. School-age children are old enough to remember when their parents were together, but they may not be old enough to know how to cope with their emotions.
Q: What Should Co-Parents Not Do?
A: Co-parents should never put their own interpersonal conflicts above the interests of their children. It is normal for there to be disagreement or minor conflict between co-parents following a separation, but these issues should never interfere with caring for their child.
Parents can affect their children negatively by refusing to communicate with a co-parent about health and educational information or by ignoring communication altogether. Parents should not use their children as a messenger between parents or expect a child to give information about their other parent.
Outlining Back-to-School Season in a Parenting Plan
A strong parenting plan can help parents understand their responsibilities more clearly. Contact Stange Law Firm for assistance with your child custody needs.
